I run. That’s what I do. The moment things get a little too much for me, I run. I retreat from the people who care about me the most. I think I have an irrational fear of needing someone so much, of being dependent on someone else entirely aside from myself, of being picked apart for all my insecurities to be laid out in the open. There’s always two options, to fight it or to give into the person. Somehow my mind and emotions go on auto-pilot and I disconnect. It’s a reflex. Something I can’t seem to control. I’m hurled into this black hole of darkness and nothing, yet everything, makes sense. You’d think I’d feel lost, but mostly I feel safe. I may be losing it, or I may be blowing things out of proportion. I don’t know where to draw the line between the two. All I know is that I run. I’ll disappear. So if I run, stay, and I’ll return to you. It might take me hours, days, sometimes weeks, and this is me and all my flaws, but I always, always come back.

(Source: camiejuan)